


tender hands (to hold me through the night)

by starrydrowse



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23902336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrydrowse/pseuds/starrydrowse
Summary: “Hey,” he coos, running a hand slowly through Brian's hair, “it’s ok sweetheart. You’re safe, you’re right here with me. I’m not gonna let anything hurt you.”*Or, Brian has nightmares. Roger just wants him to be okay.
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	tender hands (to hold me through the night)

**Author's Note:**

> just another drabble from my tumblr, reworked and edited to be posted here. i hope you like it :)

When Roger wakes suddenly in the middle of the night, it’s to movement beside him. Brian is still fast asleep next to him, but he’s far from peaceful— his eyebrows are furrowed, tiny whimpers spilling from his throat as he twitches and thrashes in his sleep. 

Roger’s heart jumps into his throat.

Brian has never slept well. More often than not he’s up all hours of the night, lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling until the early hours of the morning, and it’s not unusual for Roger to wake to find Brian having given up on sleeping altogether, instead electing to curl up on the couch in the living room with a book to wait out the night. What little sleep Brian does get is usually far from restful, often plagued by bad dreams and nightmares. Over the years Roger has learned how best to deal with the nightmares when Brian gets them; what helps him and what doesn’t, how to wake him up, how to calm him down. But as used to it as he’s gotten, seeing Brian like this never fails to make his heart clench painfully.

He turns to face Brian properly, propping himself up on his elbow and laying a gentle hand on Brian’s arm, careful not to spook him.

“Brian,” he says quietly. “Wake up sweetheart.”

Nothing.

Roger shakes him as gently as he can. “Bri, honey, wake up.”

It takes another few tries before Brian stirs, whining softly, before he gasps and his eyes suddenly fly open, wide and terrified. He scrambles to sit up and clambers back toward the headboard as quickly as he can, clutching the comforter to his chest. Roger follows, sitting up hurriedly and laying a firm hand on Brian’s back between his shoulder blades, not budging when Brian tries to shrug him off.

“Brian,” he speaks clearly. “Brian, sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Roger. Look at me love.”

Brian doesn’t seem to hear him; he’s just staring straight ahead, wide-eyed, his chest heaving.

“Bri, baby,” Roger tries again, carefully lifting a hand to cup Brian’s jaw and turn Brian’s head to look at him. “It’s me. You’re okay, you just had a nightmare. You’re safe.”

Brian’s eyes are still wild, but as he stares into Roger’s, something like confusion, followed quickly by recognition, comes over his face. Roger smiles gently.

“You’re safe,” he repeats, voice soft. “It was just a nightmare.”

Brian finally starts to come back to himself, seeming to realize where he is, who he’s with, and some of the tension melts out of his shoulders. He bites his lip, hard, and he suddenly looks so incredibly small that it makes Roger’s heart ache. Roger rubs a thumb over his cheekbone soothingly, and Brian looks back at him for a long moment before his eyes begin to well up with tears, his bottom lip starting to tremble.

“Oh, Bri,” Roger sighs sadly, quickly gathering Brian in his arms and pulling him into his chest. Brian goes easily, all but falling into him and burying his face in Roger’s neck as he begins to shake. Hot tears wet the skin of Roger’s neck, and he’s reminded again of how this never gets easier, no matter how often it happens. Every time Brian breaks down and cries like this it breaks Roger’s heart all over again.

“Hey,” he coos, “it’s ok sweetheart. You’re safe, you’re right here with me. I’m not gonna let anything hurt you.” He holds Brian as tightly as he can, one hand firm on the small of his back, the other slowly petting his hair. “That’s it,” he murmurs. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

Brian is shaking in his arms, sobs wracking his thin frame, his tears soaking the collar of Roger’s t-shirt.

“You’re safe,” Roger soothes. “You’re safe.”

Roger isn’t sure how much time passes before Brian finally starts to calm down, his sobs slowly tapering off into silent tears and shuddery breaths. He’s still clinging to Roger hands fisted in the fabric of Roger’s shirt as if holding on for dear life, and Roger shushes him gently, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his back. Finally, after a long while, Brian is relatively still and silent in his arms, his chest rising and falling in even breaths apart from the occasional hiccup.

Roger waits a long moment before asking carefully, “do you want to talk about it?” 

Immediately Brian shakes his head no, almost frantically, letting out a weak sort of whine as his grip on Roger’s shirt tightens again. 

“Okay,” Roger says quickly, placating, before Brian can get himself worked up again. “Shh, okay. That’s okay, you don’t have to.”

Brian relaxes again. He feels so unbelievably small like this— so _vulnerable_ — curled up in Roger’s arms, melted into his chest with his face buried in his neck, clinging to him like he can’t bear to let go. Roger’s heart is aching inside his chest, and he wishes desperately, not for the first time, that he could pull every bit of fear and sadness out of Brian, stomp it under his heel, make it so that Brian never has a bad dream again.

After another few moments of silence, Roger asks quietly, “do you want to go back to sleep?”

Brian shakes his head again.

Roger isn’t surprised, really— after a nightmare like that one Brian can’t usually stomach the thought of going back to bed, not that Roger can blame him.

“Okay,” he says gently. He glances over at the clock. It’s a little past 5:30; might as well start the day. “Do you want me to make you some tea?”

Brian is quiet for a moment, completely still in Roger’s arms. Finally, he lets out a weak sigh and lifts his head from Roger’s neck. He looks a sight; his skin is red and blotchy, face wet with tears, his nose running. 

“Don’t wanna be alone,” he croaks, and Roger’s heart breaks for him.

“Okay,” Roger says softly, reaching out to wipe away a fresh tear rolling down Brian’s cheek. “That’s alright, you don’t have to be.” He eyes Brian carefully for a moment, offering him a sad smile. “You’re okay,” he reminds him.

Brian draws in a long, shuddery breath. After a moment, he nods.

Roger takes his hand and squeezes it gently. “We’ll both go make some tea,” he offers.

Brian manages a weak smile. “Okay.”

Roger returns it. “Okay.”

He finally lets go of Brian, letting him scoot back on the bed as he stands, reaching for his robe where it’s strewn over the chair in the corner of the room. He grabs Brian’s too, tossing it to him.

“Thank you,” Brian says softly, and when Roger looks back he sees Brian still sat on the bed, staring down at his hands. “And, y’know,” Brian adds, “ _thank you._ ” He doesn’t have to say for what.

“Don’t thank me,” Roger tells him sincerely, circling the bed to sit on the edge beside Brian. “Really. I love you, Brimi. I’ll always be here to take care of you. Okay?”

Brian’s smile is sad and wet. “Okay.”

Roger reaches out and squeezes his knee. “Good. Now, let’s go. Time for tea.”

Brian nods, finally standing up. He scrubs at his eyes, sighing heavily. “I love you too, by the way,” he says quietly.

Roger’s smile widens just a little, and the deep crack in his heart mends itself just a little. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on my [tumblr](https://starrydrowse.tumblr.com/) :)


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